Traditionally, it seems that now is the time of year that many people enter into a time of reflection and goal setting. My reflection time reminds me that I entered into 2020 jobless due to a mass layoff and dealing with a failing marriage. I saw neither of these events coming and found myself in a deep sense of sadness and grief trying to navigate everyday life. I started and ended most days with tear stains on my pillow. Add to this a world-wide pandemic that forced a stay-at-home order for several weeks, pushed my new employment 6 weeks, and created havoc on any semblance of a routine with my kids. Needless to say, I was ready to be done with 2020 almost as soon as it started. I know I am not alone in this thought. I am not looking for any pity party. I also know that viewing the past year as a singular negative experience is not purposefully serving me. I have to believe that the struggle, fear, and uncertainty I lived through will have prepared and shaped me in ways that will serve me well as I navigate this new chapter of life.
Thus, I am making a conscious choice is to take the negative experiences from last year and say “thank you.”. Thank you for making me stronger and for forcing me to reevaluate my priorities. I am still grieving the loss of what I thought my future held. I fear that I won’t measure up as a mom, a friend, an ex-wife, or even a maybe someday wife again. Today, I choose to believe that fear is a liar and will only serve to hold me back from the person I am meant to be.
January is the time of year where many people say, “This is my year. It’s time for a “new me”. Call me crazy, but I do not want a “new me”. I don’t think that healing and growth come from total reinvention. A reinvention would require me to completely forget how I have survived the most challenging year of my life.
A very good friend labeled last year as a year of endurance. I agree with this. If 2020 was about endurance, then I am intentionally setting 2021 as RESTORATION. I don’t want a detailed plan with goals and a rigid schedule of activities. Instead, I have compiled a list of intentions to lean into and create the restoration that my body, mind, and emotional health are deeply craving.
My 2021 intentions for restoration: Healing. Comfort. Joy. Well being. Grace. Humility. Kindness. Self-care. Giving. Abundance. Rest. Growth. Bravery. Courage. Compassion. Patience. Random Acts of Kindness. Meaningful Connection. Confidence. Faith. Yoga. Meditation. Journaling. Reading. Bible study. Writing. Drawing. Creativity. Friendship.
What are the intentions you are setting for 2021? How will you take the experiences of the past year and use them in it a positive way this year? Please comment below.